What happens when you prayed for healing..what happens when you did have faith? What if everything was looking up, and suddenly it was like the carpet got pulled out from under your faith and the worst possible thing took place? Now nothing you believed seems to make sense anymore. What will you do?

The way I see it, we have been presented with two options that honestly seem pretty normal:

1. Live what we feel. Change the truth to fit it (after all, it's not a big deal); or 

2. Live the truth. Stuff our feelings and experiences – forget about them (they're not important anyways)!

Both are tempting. Both can seem like viable options, because pain is real and everyone would understand if we didn't believe in healing anymore – because we have a story, because we have an experience. But we also don't want to compromise the truth because NOW is the time to "be a good witness" to those who don't believe - this is the moment we show them why we follow God, right? Where we still have everything together because we don't have "bad days" with God…right?? And suddenly there's this pressure to perform for everyone while we're shredded on the inside from losing someone so close to us. 

There's a third option I've been choosing for the last 10 years since my Mom passed. It's not easy, which is why a lot of us choose option 1 or 2. But I'm finding it's actually the way we were meant to live – the place where we don't have to put on a show for everyone else while still holding the line on God's goodness and healing. 

1. Embrace the tension with God. Let ourselves feel fully with God, best as we know how. Be honest about what's going on, with God. Grieve DEEPLY, honestly, and authentically, with God. 

This is what it looks like when we walk the tightrope of what we feel and what He says is true about us, others, and Himself, and we change what needs changed with God. 

Our feelings are valuable and important, and the truth is still true. We were always meant to walk the tightrope. Embrace the tension with God.